Why Do Couples Separate After The Birth Of Their First Child?

A baby brings many changes for parents, which can also lead to conflict. Find out more about this topic today.
Why do couples separate after having their first child?

The birth of a child brings many changes and adjustments in the life of the parents. If couples don’t know how to deal with these changes, they often split up after the birth of their first child.

A baby’s first year of life can seriously affect a parent’s marriage, even for couples who have longed for a baby.

A baby's first year of life can call parents' marriage into question, even for couples who have always longed for a baby.

Why do couples separate after having their first child?

become parents

Some couples split up after having a child because suddenly the baby is at the center of their relationship. Parents’ attention is almost exclusively focused on taking care of the baby, causing them to lose sight of their partner.

As a result, parents no longer experience intimate moments to share, talk, and laugh with one another. Everything revolves around the baby and housework. After a baby is born, couples act like robots to move forward in life. After a baby, the parenting relationship comes second.

A critical moment

The arrival of a baby is a critical moment that requires adjustments in the life of the new parents. There are new challenges, doubts and decisions to be made.

Stress, fatigue, and being overwhelmed can keep you from thinking clearly. It is possible that, without realizing it, you will start acting defensively and demanding things from your partner. You may also begin to see your partner as an enemy rather than a friend.

The baby blues is one of the reasons couples split up after having their first child

The baby blues is one of the reasons couples split up after having their first child

In the baby’s first months of life, the mother’s state of mind often changes. All of these physical and mental issues can lead mothers to experience what are known as baby blues.

This disorder is very common and associated with feelings of vulnerability, sadness, anxiety, and mood swings. The baby blues do not require special treatment, but during this time the mother needs a lot of love and understanding from her partner.

Emotions arise and the mother may misunderstand her partner’s actions or words. The partner must then try to put themselves in the mother’s shoes and be by her side during this emotional roller coaster.

Close relationships

Libido can suffer in both partners because free time is limited and exhaustion is usually great. If you don’t discuss it, bitterness and low self-esteem can cause you to break up.

For couples who have children together, couples therapy is recommended before separating.

Tips for cultivating relationships after having their first child

  • Realize that things have changed and will stay that way for a while. Know that this is a complicated situation, but it won’t last forever. After the fourth month, things usually go better. The mother will have recovered from the birth and hormonal changes by this point, while the father will be more involved and the baby’s schedule will be more consistent.
  • Be empathetic with your partner. If you have an argument, remember that it is probably because you are exhausted. Try to understand your partner and remind yourself that you are a team. Don’t be disrespectful to one another.
  • The father must also develop a bond with his child. Sometimes you don’t want to delegate, but it is good that both of you take care of the baby. That way you can rest and the father will feel involved and not like a stranger within his own family.
  • Talk openly about your feelings and fears. Try to sort things out together. Remember that reconciliation does not mean that either of you is right. Rather, it’s about appreciating your partner.

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