The Expectations Of A Rainbow Baby

The rainbow baby is the child born after the mother miscarries. These babies bring incredible joy. They bring hope and the need to reunite as a family after the loss of a baby.

It’s a bit complex and in a few moments it’s merciless. Many mothers sometimes face a certain degree of social ignorance and insensitivity. A popular belief is that losing an older child cannot be compared to losing a baby you neither knew nor started living.

One aspect that we should make clear from the start is that any loss is severe and not comparable. The pain of losing a child is experienced in many different ways. There are families who face their sadness or who fall into deep helplessness, up to and including depression.

Star children, these babies who still die in the womb, are beings that existed, who struggled to live and wanted to grow, but fate denied them this opportunity. Something that parents of rainbow babies know well. They bring hope after a loss, but are not there to replace the lost sibling.

Every child has a place in their mother and father’s hearts, even if life has taken them from them prematurely.

Star children and our personal hurricanes

Miscarriages and stillbirths are more common than we think. It is therefore imperative that there is some kind of psychological and caring protocol for the families concerned, and especially for the mothers.

• Every woman will live this loss in some way, but it is necessary that she be able to experience the grief in a holistic way. Their neighbors, but also experts, should accompany them.
• It is increasingly common for a woman to make multiple failed attempts to get pregnant.

• This experience can be very difficult. Star children leave us, shine brightly and give us light. However, there is a time for the mother when she feels a storm, sees only darkness and has the desperate feeling that she is  “responsible” for this loss. A thought that you have to face and defeat.

Rainbow baby: The expectation of a unique face and light in a strong heart

The grief over the loss of a baby can be long or short, but the pain will be carried in your soul. It is something that many mothers try to figure out on their own and carry inside. You will learn to live with it.

Something that is common with couples after such a loss is a reluctance to try again. The fear is there. But gradually the hope and the longing grow stronger. The desire to become parents again brings the miracle: the rainbow baby, this child who stops the storm and brings light back into the darkness.

A healthy baby heals, comforts, and rebuilds the mother at the same time. This child brightens up his parents’ days anew.

Something that is very clear to parents of rainbow babies is that there are aspects that are worth reflecting on:

• The rainbow baby is not there to replace the star child.

• The unborn baby will always have its own place in the family. His parents will always carry it in their soul and the invisible connection will always be there.
• Women experience pregnancy differently after losing a child. The fear is there and it is quite normal to feel panic at certain moments. But these feelings are normal and expected. The best thing in these situations is to strive for good communication with the partner and the doctors.
• The birth of the rainbow baby is also a way of honoring the star child. This healthy and strong child will allow us to show the love that is within us. We wanted to offer it to the other baby, but now it is reflected in his sibling.

We will do our best for both of you. For the child that we have with us, but also for the other baby who watches us from inside its star and withdraws into the center of our hearts.