Separation Anxiety In Childhood: What To Do?

Separation anxiety in childhood is very common. It is an excessive attachment to the mother. It can prevent children from developing relationships with other children or from enjoying activities with other family members.
Separation Anxiety In Childhood: What To Do?

When your child at   If you suffer from separation anxiety, you need to help them overcome them and encourage them to build healthy relationships with others. Find out more about this topic today. 

The time with the mother is very valuable, but  the contact with peers and other people is also fundamental for the healthy development of the child. This is often difficult with  separation anxiety  , especially if the mother has to go back to her usual work after a while.

What is separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety can occur when the relationship between mother and child is very close and intense.  Most often in this case, the child begins to cry when it has to part with its mother. Also  Tantrums are normal in this situation.

The child tries everything so as not to have to move away from its mother. Even if it’s only for a short time. It feels most comfortable in the arms of its mother!

However, this excessive attachment can lead to very uncomfortable situations. The mother must always be there for her child because it does not allow another person to attend to its needs.

It is true that babies always depend on their mother. She is your most important caregiver, you need her physically and emotionally. But as soon as the child gets a little older, it should also be fed by the grandparents, an uncle or an aunt. 

It shouldn’t be a problem to be fed or bathed by these close caregivers. The mother also needs a breather every now and then! 

But if the child does not allow another person, then they will suffer from separation anxiety. But this can often make them important  Do not experience changes and take a long time to become independent. 

Separation anxiety: causes and symptoms 

Many believe that the mother is so attached to the child that the child cannot separate from her. Because often the baby doesn’t want to go to his own father either, or only when it absolutely has to. However, many different factors play a role in separation anxiety: 

1. Unpleasant learning experiences

Every time the child learns something new and important, they experience frustration. For example, when learning to walk or to speak. The child wants to be with their mother, who will calm them down and make them feel safe. 

Trennungsangst bei Kindern

2. Perception of the environment

Until the age of ten months, children are unaware of what exactly is going on around them. However, you do recognize familiar people. When children see them leaving, they cry because they think they are leaving forever.

3. Big changes

Changes in daily life can be a huge burden and change for children. They feel insecure when they are about to move or travel, or when they have to go to kindergarten for the first time. 

4. Oedipus complex

Oedipus complex is a term from psychology derived from  Freud was shaped. The male child goes through a phase in which he feels extremely drawn to his mother. 

Usually this takes place between three and five years of age. The child then sees the father as a competitor. 

This phase is called for girls  Electra complex. They then feel particularly close to their father. 

How do you recognize separation anxiety in childhood?

The child’s behaviors in this case are clear:

  • Your child calls you every two minutes and only wants you.
  • It just wants to be fed and dressed by mom. It doesn’t want to take a step without you and won’t be put to bed by anyone else.
  • Your child cries when they can’t see you and you’re not around.
  • It hangs on your arms and legs when you want to do something else – for example when you are trying to cook or work.
  • The child does not want contact with other children  if their mother is not there.
  • It shows excessive jealousy when you pay attention to other children.

Trennungsangst bei Kindern

What can you do about separation anxiety? First, you need to find out what causes it. What does your child want to achieve with their behavior?

Usually it is only a temporary phase. You can use simple tricks to help your child overcome them.

However, under no circumstances should you neglect your work or your well-being. Your child will slowly learn to have a conversation without you. Be patient with him!

Over time, they will accept to stay with grandma or grandpa and gradually learn to stay alone in kindergarten without an attack of anger.

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