No, Being A Mother Doesn’t Destroy Your Friendships
When we become mothers, many things change, as do our social lives and friendships.
We thought some people would support us during this phase, but instead they decided to distance themselves. We often think that we are the ones to blame – but that is not always true.
Being a mother doesn’t destroy your friendships , it only strengthens those that are worth it.
Even so, you will have to make an effort. When friendships break, it is seldom that one person is solely to blame. When you take on your new role as a mother, you may be neglecting the very people who have always supported you.
Maybe you were the one who moved away or a misunderstanding broke out.
Or maybe the people you once called your friends are not what they seemed to be.
How do I get my friendships back?
If you think you are responsible, don’t let that stop you from making amends. Be aware of your mistakes and try to make up for them.
Try to reconnect with your friends and invite them to be part of your child’s life.
Apologize
This is an easy way to admit that you bear your share of the blame. If you think you may have hurt someone’s feelings, apologize.
Accept that you didn’t do the right thing and show that you are still the same person as you were before. If your friendship is real, the other person will know how to forgive you.
Show interest in them
Show your friends that you are not self-centered and ask them how they are. You are not the only person in the world with problems.
Try to support your friends, listen to them, and show interest in their lives. Nobody likes people who only think of themselves.
Don’t talk about your child all the time
Diapers and bottles are not everything in life. It will do you good to talk to your friends about your baby, but don’t let this dominate every conversation.
If you can’t talk about anything other than your baby and child, sooner or later your friends will get bored. Being a mother doesn’t mean disregarding all of your other interests.
Try to include them in your child’s life
Invite them to get involved in your child’s life. Friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and they support us when our blood relatives cannot or are not around.
Some children grow up with their parents’ friends as godparents and love them like aunts and uncles. After all, you want your children in the hands of people you trust completely in case something should happen to you.
Keep in touch
Nowadays, thanks to the internet and social media, it is much easier to maintain our friendships. Talk to your friends whenever you can. Tell them what is going on in your life and find out what is happening in their life.
You don’t have to be online all day, just enough to be up to date with the latest news. It doesn’t matter if you are near or far: they will always be there for you.
When you don’t change, but the people around you
Don’t let yourself get dragged down by it when it is the others who have distanced themselves despite your best efforts. This is the natural course in life to rid yourself of toxic people who have only been by your side during the good times.
You have every right to be disappointed and sad, but don’t think about it too much. You have learned to recognize which people are bad for you, so stay away from them.
A few traits of toxic people
- They don’t care about you and your baby. They never ask how you are or offer their help.
- Sometimes they pretend to be concerned but when you need them they are never there for you.
- They lie to you.
- Whenever you invite them to your child’s occasion, they’ll make up excuses not to have to leave.
- They only answer their phone or read your text messages when it suits them.
- They make you feel lonely and isolated.
- They constantly criticize you and don’t understand that you set your priorities differently than they do.
If someone around you behaves like this, keep your distance. You can’t trust them and they don’t deserve to be part of your life. See this new time as positive.
Being a mother will also give you the opportunity to meet new people who are going through similar things to you and to make new friends.
The entrance to school, parks and kindergartens are great places to meet other mothers while you go through everyday life and routines with your child.
You can also try joining clubs, taking classes, and groups to meet people with similar interests.
